Seven Tips For Legalistic Pastors

Seven Tips For Legalistic Pastors

Have you ever wondered how to be a successful legalist and cult leader? Here are seven tips on how to preach that will surely produce a church that only cares about their religion and nobody outside their four walls:

  1. Only talk about repentance from what you think sin is
  2. Do not define what sin is biblically
  3. Assert your opinions about what sin is and pass them along as truth
  4. Be very loud and insistent and angry in your preaching so people have no choice but to drink the proverbial kool-aid you’re trying to sell them
  5. Do not define what the gospel actually is. Instead, tell the people to repent and then say that is the gospel.
  6. Absolutely do not say anything about the grace of God in saving humble sinners.
  7. Never emphasize the need to trust in Christ alone through faith alone for salvation due to your utter failure to meet the demands of the moral law of God as defined in the ten commandments.

So there you have it. Seven ways to bring your weak-minded victims into bondage and keep them there. If they don’t like it, then they weren’t truly saved anyway. Just be grateful and happy that they are going to hell and you’re not.

Written by Joey Mersch

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