Statement of Faith
The 21st Century American Creed
I believe in, or have a personal relationship with God, my papa, who is mighty and created everything in six 24-hour days, though he got kicked out of the public schools by a few Supreme Court Justices;
And in Jesus, my older brother and best friend, who was born of the virgin Mary and died on a cross to prove how valuable I am. He lives in my heart. He ascended into heaven, and he recently returned to the White House after the Democrats had kicked him out. From thence he shall come to heal America.
I believe in the Holy Spirit, who does some really cool stuff and makes me feel good, the rebuilding of my self-esteem, my personal walk with Jesus, that I will go to heaven when I have completed all that Jesus has for me to do, and the life everlasting after the pre-tribulational rapture, 7 years of tribulation, the return of Jesus before 1000 years of peace and another rebellion.