Statement of Faith

Statement of Faith

The 21st Century American Creed

I believe in, or have a personal relationship with God, my papa, who is mighty and created everything in six 24-hour days, though he got kicked out of the public schools by a few Supreme Court Justices;

And in Jesus, my older brother and best friend, who was born of the virgin Mary and died on a cross to prove how valuable I am. He lives in my heart. He ascended into heaven, and he recently returned to the White House after the Democrats had kicked him out. From thence he shall come to heal America.

I believe in the Holy Spirit, who does some really cool stuff and makes me feel good, the rebuilding of my self-esteem, my personal walk with Jesus, that I will go to heaven when I have completed all that Jesus has for me to do, and the life everlasting after the pre-tribulational rapture, 7 years of tribulation, the return of Jesus before 1000 years of peace and another rebellion.

-Lanette Kauten

Lanette Kauten

Heretic

Sy Benn

Sy Benn

Top Heretic

English, and here by Gods divine decree to help Americans learn to speak real English. Biography Saved from a life of Addiction to sin and Atheism to a life of overcoming the world. Professional Life Sy
Presbyterian Panda

Presbyterian Panda

Top Heretic

In a constant state of grumpy. He will ban you and you will deserve it. Biography Saved from Word of Faith heresy and now has better theology than you. Professional Life Professional life is none of
Joey Mersch

Joey Mersch

Top Heretic

Top heretic from somewhere cool. One day he will complete his bio here and it will be awesomely heretical. Biography Top heretic from somewhere cool. One day he will complete his bio here and it will
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