News media recently reported that a Florida woman assaulted a Burger King manager over french fries. YMBAH conducted its own investigation and discovered that the accused was really President Donald Trump in drag.
Wearing a platinum blond wig and calling himself Natasha, President Trump visited the fast food restaurant on April 2nd, demanding free fries. When the employee refused and called the heavily banged president “sir,” Trump leaped over the counter, yelling, “It’s Ma’am!”
When the manager came out, who was a real woman, the dragged-out president attacked her with a burger. Outraged that it wasn’t as hard as a McDonald’s hockey puck, he threw it on the ground and threatened to send the manager back to her home country and build a wall around it.
“Sir, I’m from New Mexico, and you’re standing on the wrong side of my wall.”
“It’s Ma’am, and I don’t care if you’re from New Mexico or Old Mexico. You don’t belong here. I belong here because my name’s Natasha. That’s a good American name.”
Eventually, the police showed up at Burger King and escorted the delusional president off the premises. The investigation into the use of the Russian name Natasha showed “no collusion, no obstruction.” As to the allegation Trump assaulted a Burger King employee, Robert Mueller had this to say, “If the president had not committed a crime, we would have said so.”